


I'd Do Anything For Love

by damnedapostate (ethydium)



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:46:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethydium/pseuds/damnedapostate
Summary: Anders blows up the Chantry and Fenris is faced with the aftermath.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I don't want to miss a thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151105) by [I_hate_mages_No_you_dont](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont/pseuds/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont). 



> I was inspired by Kittenmage's songfic, then she gave me the song from Meat Loaf: I'd Do Anything for Love. And... this is the result. Enjoy and cry your heart out.  
> I certainly did.
> 
> /beta'd and everything, but can contain minor mistakes, sry/

 

For the first time in his existence Fenris had a life. One proper life with a home, a couple of trusted friends and well-earned freedom.

He knew it was just the start, but it was something at least. And he was not alone – he had _Anders_.

A mage he had chosen for himself, and for months he had been content. Even more than that. Happy, he dared to admit to himself.

He couldn’t hope to express his feelings with mere words alone. But he found that soft humming and slowly whispered verses in the dark of night had the desired effect of telling Anders how he _felt_.

 _“And I would do anything for love,”_ he sang softly in front of the fireplace, with Anders draped over his lap, sighing contently once in a while. “ _I’d run right into hell and back_.” Anders looked up at him, eyes overly bright.

Anders never doubted Fenris’ words. Never called him a hypocrite.

“ _I’ll never lie to you and that’s a fact.”_

“I know, love. I know.” Anders tangled his nimble fingers into the white strands of Fenris’ hair, pulling the elf down for a long, thorough kiss.

 _“I’ll never forget the way you feel right now.”_ And Fenris was exceptional at keeping promises.

*

Now, Fenris cursed himself for his naivety. Of course their happiness couldn’t last. Of _fucking_ course.

He _felt_ the Chantry blew up, way before he saw the huge column of blood red light or heard the unearthly whistling of the explosion. It was a sickening feeling that spread from his guts and left uneasy quivering in his limbs afterwards.

_And some days it don’t come easy,_  
_And some days it don’t come hard_  
_Some days it don’t come at all_  
_And these are the days that never end._

It was so _wrong_. In that moment he couldn’t even fathom the whole extent of its wrongness. It made him feel very ill at ease and disoriented. Like when he was roused after too little sleep.

He wished he was hallucinating or dreaming.  

„There can be no turning back.” Anders’ words rang in his ears, and he turned to him. His heart. His love. His _everything_.

However, the man who stood before him was now a complete stranger to him. This was not the man who he had fallen asleep next to just last night. This was not the Anders who held him and whispered honey sweet words during their love-making.

_And some days I pray for Silence,  
And some days I pray for Soul,_

_Some days I just pray._

_Who was this Abomination?_ He felt uncontrolled anger creep up along his spine. He hadn’t referred to Anders as such since the first time their heated argument ended with a fierce kiss.

“There can be no peace,” Anders muttered angrily, and Fenris shivered at his tone.

How could he stand here and watch while innocents were obliterated just moments ago? Did he have no mercy? The same man who healed refugees and lowlifes without asking anything in return?

Fenris zoned out in his shock. He felt nauseated and out of place.

He came back to himself when Sebastian threatened Anders. And although Fenris never would have thought to agree with the prince to actually hurt Anders, now he found himself doing exactly that.

The mage’s actions could not go unanswered or unavenged. Even Hawke had a pale, terrified look on her solemn face.

“You are a murderer!” She exclaimed harshly, clearly on the verge of tears.

“I know,” answered Anders without remorse. And this… this is what truly hit Fenris. This hollow shell of a man who was so dear to him.

Anders was _aware_ of his actions. He was not controlled by Justice. This was his own doing, not his demon’s.

Fenris tasted bile in his mouth.

*

He was almost thankful for the short interlude of killing the remaining Templars. Of course Hawke would side with the mages. Of course she couldn’t see the terror they brought upon the world.

As the last Templar fell, Hawke stepped over to Anders who was calmly seated on a box. Fenris felt himself move closer to them. He would not be an idle bystander.

Hawke was harshly questioning Anders, but the mage answered curtly and calmly, unaffected by his surroundings. He was calmly awaiting his execution. Hawke pulled out a knife, but Fenris grabbed her wrists.

“No,” he growled, lyrium lines flashing sharply.

“Fenris,” Anders hissed, pleading with his eyes. He wanted this! He was ready to beg for the release that his death meant.

“Let me,” Fenris said, and Hawke let him pry her angry fingers off the handle of the blade.

He took it from her, and kneeled in front of Anders.

There was so much to say and none felt right. His mouth felt like cotton and death. Fenris was more scared than the mage in front of him.

“It’s okay, love,” Anders whispered.

Hawke promptly took two long steps back as if slapped. She desperately wished to be somewhere else. Some place where she shouldn’t have to witness this madness. She loved them both dearly. They were her strongholds. They were always there for her and now, when it could truly matter, she was unable to do anything.

She averted her gaze, and looked at Isabela. Her anguish too was palpable. Hawke walked over her, but couldn’t offer anything to comfort her.

*

Fenris did not want the tears to come, he forced himself to stay strong.

“Anders,” he started weakly, but couldn’t make himself say anything else.

“I know, love,” Anders whispered roughly. “I know.”

Fenris couldn’t repeat his words and Anders wouldn’t make him. Not now. So Fenris let his actions speak. He leaned in and kissed Anders softly.

It was raw. Their kisses filled with pure, unadulterated love. Fenris felt himself choke on the emotion.

Anders put his arms on his shoulders, and Fenris lifted his left hand to the back of his head. Gauntleted fingers twisting the honey coloured strands, but not tearing at them.

And when the waves of emotions were threatening to crash him, making him feel regret or guilt, he pushed the blade between Anders’ ribs. It went straight to the heart – his movements never lacked precision. Why start now?

For one fleeting moment, he wished… he wished Anders would feel the same consuming pain that made its ugly nest in his own chest.

Anders shuddered, but made no sound. Fenris rested his forehead on the mage’s, and held him upright. He did not twist the knife, even though his instincts urged him to. Fenris did not want to inflict more pain than absolutely necessary on Anders.

He still loved him. Under the overwhelming anger and shock, he felt it pulse in synchrony with his heartbeat. And it made stark contrast to the dying one in Anders’ chest.

Fenris saw Anders’ face pale, eyes glazing over. And… Anders smiled at him. One last time, and he was himself at last. The man who helped Fenris overcome the obstacles of illiteracy. Who healed his wounds only after Fenris gave him permission. Who kissed him just this morning, saying that he was the happiest waking to the lovely sight of Fenris.  

He felt the life slip out of Anders, his body sagging heavily, almost toppling over. But Fenris held him tightly, not wanting to accept that is was truly over.

It was way too soon when Hawke stepped over and Fenris realised this was not the time to mourn.  He gently laid the lifeless body in the ground and without a further ado stood up.

“We have a slaughter to stop,” Fenris said to Hawke. She nodded, blue eyes searching his face for signs of madness.

“That we do, Broody,” Varric said tightly. “That we do,” he repeated, blinking rapidly. But to no avail – he couldn’t stop seeing Anders’ corpse. None of them could.

*

 _As long as the wheels are turning,_  
_As long as the fires are burning,_  
_As long as your prayers are coming true_  
_You better believe it._


End file.
